Livin' Life

When I was planning this trip... I had made lists and lists of what I should bring and do before I left. I had every single detail planned and it was to the point where I even organized my room so it was just so for when I got home... I was expecting to learn the obvious things like patience and understanding and even just how well I have it at home. What I will actually come home with is so much more than that.

I feel myself growing up more and more everyday. Flat out, I am... no... make that WAS lazy. I would go to work and do what was asked of me and come home and complain because it was a long day. I find myself often coming up with excuses about why I need to come home early or why I am not feeling good... Or why I can have just 1 more cookie. I seem to have validate everything I do to make it alright. I was talking to one of the mamas today and she was telling me how "she may be hungry today but she knows God will provide tomorrow". These women work so hard for every moment in their day. They know what is truly important and they strive to accomplish every little detail... even if it means working 47 hours straight like the mama that did my hair. She works the midnight to 8 shift and then she stayed and worked 10 hours on my hair and went back to work the next night only to finish at 8am the 2nd day and do another girls hair. We tried really hard to convince her to take a break and get some sleep but she refused. She said she needed the money and would do the work needed to recieve it. Wow, don't I feel like a dork working my 7 hour day and complaining... And yes, I did give her extra shillings because when someone works THAT hard they deserve it.

Mom and I are busy planning our adventure... Well, mostly mom is because the internet really comes and goes around here. I come online when I can and she updates me on what she has booked or wants to do and has read about. I am so excited for our trip. I know I have 3 weeks in Jinja still but I know it will be time for me to go home. Like most things in life, leaving will be bitter sweet. I am going to be running to the airport out of excitement to see my mom and get back to Canada but I know once I get home and have settled back into my routines, I am going to be so sad. One of the biggest things that I didn't think about or prepare for was coming home. Like I said earlier, I even cleaned my room for my return but... What about spending 25$ on a single meal knowing that buys groceries for a week for myself here? Or going and getting an Iphone like I had planned? That money could buy an entire years supply of medications for the Positive kids here at Amani. I know I was born a Canadian for a reason and I am so grateful for the opportunity to truly open my eyes to the poverty in the world... It is just going to be a big pill to swallow coming back to Canada and continuing with my life. Maybe I will be able to save money all the time now =)

I had a couple of emails and messages about the HIV kids... So I just wanted to address that really quick.... Before I left and many months before I was ready to come here, I had a heated discussion with someone about being tested for HIV/AIDs upon my return. A couple people were concerned about the risks of transmission and what can be done to prevent it. A total of 8 kids live at Amani that are Positive. I had my first "thought" of it today. One of the girls fell chasing after some bubbles that I was blowing for the kids. She ended up scraping her knee pretty good and there was visible blood. She touched her knee and then came up to me and showed me her fingers with her blood. I immediately remembered she was Positive so I grabbed her wrist and frantically rushed her to the nurse here. I was checking myself for any signs of her blood and noticed how worked up I was over everything. And then the nurse casually put on a pair of gloves and tended to my girl's knee. No big deal. I started questioning the nurse about being so non-chalant about it and she just looked at me... Like... it was a drop of blood and I was losing my mind over it. As I walked away from the clinic watching my girl run back to the bubble action I began to think about my many conversations with some parents here. They are adopting an HIV Positive child because they both survived cancer and wanted to provide another with a chance at living. They told me numerous times how hard it was to contract HIV and simple procedures like wearing gloves or using 2 straws in 1 glass is all that it takes. I did everything right but did 1 thing wrong... I acted like my little girl was diseased with 59 different problems rather than realizing she is a person just like the rest of us. I actually took her into town and shared some cake and soda later on. Long story short: I am not worried about it. It is a common thing around here and it is easily dealt with. I'm not going to run home and make a doctors appointment because I am being realistic and cautious without losing touch of the fact that these kids are human beings as well.