Please read this!!!

So Mom has left for Calgary and I believe her flight is leaving in like, 5 hours. She will be in London a full 24 hours before me. I am just about to head into town to take some "last minute" pictures of Jinja. I leave here tomorrow at 1:30 for my flight at 10.

I just wanted to quickly post another woman's blog entry about a girl I have met and spent some time with here. This is her story and it is just another reminder how things are so different over here.

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2010/03/2005-dinka-girl-of-about-nine-or-10-was.html

xo*

Coming to an end....

I have been putting this entry off for as long as I could but I feel like it is now time to write what will probably be my last blog entry in Uganda. So much to think about, reflect upon and remember...
I will start off by saying I was supposed to leave July 7 but that was changed to June 7 to accomidate my European adventure with mom. And then my flight was cancelled because British Airways is on strike... For the 3rd time. So after hasseling my parents frantically at 4:30AM to rebook my flight, I will be leaving through Brussels Airlines June 8 at like, 10PM. I will end up meeting mom in London June 9 at 8AM and we will still be home June 18 if British Airways doesn't strike again.
ANYWAYS...
My final days at Amani Baby Cottage are actually here.It is so hard to believe this has been a trip I have been preparing for, for months. This is the trip I have put everything on hold for and it is already coming to an end. I have said it before that I do not regret making my trip shorter than originally planned and I still don't. I am going to sound incredibly selfish for a second but here is my list of things that I am so excited about for when I get home:
1. A hair cut and being able to use my straightner.
2. My bed and sheets and the smell of home.
3. My nice clothes.
4. My car that I can drive whenever I want, where ever I want.
5. Milk, Yogurt and CHEESE.
6. My puppies.
7. A pedicure and nails.
8. Not having red dust in my hair, ears, nose and eyes.
9. Showers on a regular basis. HOT showers. and a BUBBLE BATH after I have my shower.
10.Food tasting like it should.
11.Being able to go out past dark and not being scared of snakes, thieves and random creepy crawlies.

Needless to say, I am excited to get back home. I have learnt SO MUCH about what it is like to live off of nothing and to experience how far $2.00CDN can actually be stretched. But like I said to my family, I was born where I was for a reason and I was given the opportunities I have been so I can learn and grow. I keep telling every one that tells me they are proud of me; "Don't be proud, be aware". And I feel like I am coming back well equipped with the knowledge I need and the experiences to continue making people aware how good we have it. It is going to be so weird going to the gas station and loading the Sunflower up with 50$ in gas knowing at any given time, they spend maybe 5$ on gas and even that is lots. Silly little things will be sure to pop up and send me into flashbacks and I need to be prepared for that.

When I was having my breakdown and was sick about a week ago, mom said to me "You are going to be going through so many more changes and trials when you get home and we need to be ready to help you through it all." And it occured to me that through all my preparations and lists, that was something I never thought of... Getting home and life after Africa.

Even today, I was down in the yard... And little moments that I never want to forget happen. One of my handicapped girls, D, was laying on the mat outside with me. I was tickling her and singing her songs while the other kids were playing with a giant alaphabet and number puzzle. M, he is about 3 and is mostly stubborn and so hard to handle at times came over and sat down beside D. (And most of the time, the kids don't pay much attention to our handicapped kids... They are too busy playing, fighting and carrying on). He had one of the puzzle pieces in his hand and tilted it so D could see it. He started showing her the number 8 and the cherries that were on the mat. Letting her touch it and really get a look at it. He grabbed her hand and even tried to get her to hold it while he talked to her softly and showed her the colors. I sat there and watched while fighting back tears. Simple things that no one really thinks twice about mean the world to kids like D. She was laughing and smiling and cooing. Little did M know, he probably made her day.

I am ready to come home but will never be ready to forget the importance of cherishing every moment. I never want to forget Africa and what it has done to change my heart. I know actions speak louder than words and I keep telling everyone I am different but when I get home, I am prepared to walk the walk and talk the talk. I don't expect to be a nun and change my entire outlook on life, but I do expect to clean up my act and be more aware of my actions, words and surroundings. And perhaps my multiple trips to McDonald's in a weeks time will decrease too. But let's not get too crazy =)

Nkwagala Nyo*

Things I never want to forget....

Riding boda's a night time with Sarah. Under the clear night sky with the light wind blowing through our hair. Laughing and joking around the entire way.

Coming into the toddler room at any given time and having 16 children run up to me and hugging my legs.

"Aunty, You are taking who?" "Aunty, You are going where?" "Well done, Well done, Very good, Very good, Try again - AUNTY TAAYYAA"

Walking past the Gecko house and seeing 4 or 5 little heads peering over the ledge as you walk by.

The early mornings in Uganda. So warm, so bright, so new. So fresh.

Sarah and I walking down Kisinja road and having a heard of goats come storming at us. We actually screamed and held onto eachother.

The constant challenges God placed infront of me every day. Testing my patience, my fears and my faith.

Last Week

My last full weekend in Africa. It is so hard to believe that this will be my last week here. I don't regret switching my flights around so I could come home early because believe me, I am very ready to come home but I am going to miss it here.

I am so happy to say I pulled through and am starting to feel so much better. I will definately say I have never felt so lost and hopeless in my entire life. I have never experienced the anxiety and hurt that was rushing through my body. I am so glad I was able to make it this far. I am not 100% but I am feeling better and I will not let anything stop me from having a fantastic last week in Jinja.

Yesterday, I went to Kampala with Sarah, Siouxanne, Judy and her little daughter, Malia... I found myself praying the entire way there because the traffic was so bad and the driving was even worse. I kept saying to everyone that I will never complain about anyone's driving back in Canada again. It also made me realize that I will not of been driving for about 2 and a half months once I get home, so I am going to need a brave soul to jump in the passenger seat and help me remember when I get home. Any takers? Haha. Anyways, we went to the craft market in Kampala as well as 2 different malls. We had lunch at a really nice restaurant and I had a bean and cheese burrito. It was definately home good. I felt slightly spoiled because the night before, Sarah treated me to Velveeta Shells and Cheese and the burrito was delicious. It makes me excited to get back to a 1st World Country and remember all the "good" foods I have gone without for months... I ended up buying another dress at the craft market for 5$ and 3 pairs of sandals that I may or may not share with my sister. I found Oreos at one of the major super markets and they were definately worth the 7$ I spent on them. Haha. It was really nice to get out of Jinja for the day and I had a good time with excellent company.

Tomorrow I will be going to church with Sarah and then there is a marathon that is going through Jinja so we will be spending the afternoon shopping for some last minute gifts and cheering on all the runners. It will be a good day.

I cannot wait to see mom in London and I am getting antsy just thinking about it. I haven't started packing my things yet which is funny because I was packed and ready to get here about 2 months before I even left. I am going to spend the last week holding my kids and playing with my babies and cherishing every moment, giggle and smile. I have had a hard time adjusting to the African lifestyle but I would come back in a heart beat. I feel a strong connection with Africa and I am never going to let that go....

7 weeks down... 1 more to go.

xo*

My Health

This entry isn't going to be about what I have been doing or what is new in Africa. This entry is going to be all about my feelings and my health.

I have to take my Malaria medicine once a week and I chose Lariam simply because it was the least expensive and having to take it for what would of been 16 weeks, I wanted to save my pocket as best I could. I knew the risks with all malaria medication and I thought I could handle it. Well, I knew I was feeling slightly off balance (literally) since probably the 3rd week I took it and didn't think it would be a big deal. So I bump into things once in a while? I have also had bad dreams (which are a common side effect) but it would like, I would wake up scared and not know why so I just brushed it off. And then within the last 2 weeks, I have really noticed a change in my attitude and outlook on life. We went to the village on Saturday and it really hit me then that some day, I am going to die. And I ended up having a panic attack. I mean, I have always known that this is how life goes and I understand that everyone and everything eventually dies. It is the circle of life, right? I don't know why but it has made me start thinking in over drive. I have always been terrified of flying and little things here and there through out my trip have made me casually think about the end of my life. Nothing too major, just little reminders every once in a while. Where will I go? What will happen to my thoughts and my heart and my voice? Will I ever see my mom and dad again? I have been struggling since day 1 of being in Africa with the thought of God and who He really is and if He really exists. I am struggling with the choices I want to make in leading a Christian lifestyle and in my over active thought process I came to the conclusion that all these thoughts and reminders are 1 of 3 things...
1)It is just my medication and I really am going crazy.
2)God is trying to show me the way to a Christian lifestyle and is helping me better understand who I want to be.
3)God is preparing me for something bad.

And for anyone that knows me, I had being a burden and I don't like voicing my concerns... But yesterday, I broke down. I have never felt so scared in my life. I couldn't end my thought process and I couldn't calm down. My friend and room mate, Sarah, was there to listen to me as I rambled on about my life and what it means and where I will go and blah blah blah... I ended up calling home around 4:30 am (Lethbridge Time) and I was hysterically crying for most of the day. I know I scared mom enough to call the Amani Director and I ended up just telling everyone my fears and concerns. The girls were so good and they totally came to my side and we ended up talking for about an hour about the Afterlife and being a Christian and what it is truly like. I went to bed and prayed 3 or 4 times for God to keep me safe and help me through this. But even as I write this, the next day, I am fighting back tears and trying so desperately to push out all of my negative thoughts. I know when I get home, I want to change and I want to open myself to a better lifestyle but I just want to take it 1 day at a time. Even though, right now, I don't know what that means. I feel lost and confused. I feel scared of the unknown and I feel overwhelmed by the constant emotions.
The nurse that is at Amani told me to stop taking the medication (I really only have 3 or 4 left) and to just make sure I am using bug spray as well as keeping myself covered up. She said this is so common with Lariam as it is such a powerful drug. This made me feel better that it is just the medication talking but it is also scary because I have never in my life felt this hopeless. I am tired, I am weak, I am emotionally exhausted. I wish I could turn my brain off for a week so I could recover and move on. I am ready to see my mom and go home.
So, please keep me in your prayers and help me fight whatever this is. I am in need of any help I can get right now and I now know, I need to not be afriad to ask for help when I need it.

I love you all.

xo*

Live Life Positively

May 22, 2010 will be a day I never want to forget for a second. I want it to be on my mind every time I get in my car. Every time I go to McDonalds on my lunch break at work. Every time I tell myself I need a new shirt for a night out. I want to always remember the things I saw, did, smelled and heard today.
My day started with one of our boys, B, leaving for his new home after meeting his new parents for the first time 7 weeks ago. He is headed to Nashville and will have 2 brothers, a sister, a dog and a cat all waiting to meet him in person for the first time ever. I am so happy for him and wish his family nothing but blessings from here on in.
And then I went with Natalie, Chad and Sarah to 3 African villages. Our host, Sam, and his wife, Catherine, were nothing short of incredible and we kept joking around about how we were being treated like movie stars. Sam and his wife are the directors of an organization - Widows and Orphans Compassion Assistance Program... Or WOCAP for short. Basically, WOCAP takes women and children under their wing and creates villages to help these people get back on their feet. They are mostly HIV Positive and are taught simple life skills to sustain their life. The women are shown how to do "crafts" which actually turned out to be mostly the beading I last posted about, they are taught to sew as well as farming so they can have food, clothing and shelter all within their village. The children are placed in a school which is created within the village and are given an education. All 3 villages are apart of the WOCAP mission and the first village I visted, actually had an HIV/AIDs clinic so many of the Positive people are taught to "Live Life Positively" versus letting the Positive live their life... Get it?
The village names were:
1)Namagera
2)Nakakulwe Bulondo
3)Bobogo
I was blown away and overwhelmed all day. The hospitality each villaged showed was unbelievable. They had no idea when we were coming so each village literally waited for hours for us. All 3 times, we got out of the car to hootiing and hollering. Cheering and people in our faces just waiting to shake our hands, give us hugs and welcome us as one of their own. The women were dressed in their traditional African dresses and tried their best to speak English to us. We were shown the beads and their crops and ended up playing with the kids.
And then, when we left... we were given fruits and vegetables as a sign of appreciation and respect. They literally handed all 4 of us handfuls of potatoes, papaya, bananas, squash, eggs and roots. We got home and put everything in black garbage bags and we have 3 bags FULL of fruit and veggies and more sitting on the counter. These people literally have nothing but the bare bones basics and they are giving US their crops? What?! I was blown away. Each village was exactly the same in how they treated us. And we really were like movie stars.
It made me open my eyes and realize just what is really important in life. I got to talking to one of the executives of WOCAP and he was talking money to me. Did you know the average African makes roughly 50$ a month? School for a child is roughly 1200$ a year if they want to go to a higher rated institution. Rent can be upwards of 250$ a month. The women of WOCAP are trying to live a life for themselves without much and they are truly doing it.
After our visits were over, we were taken to a hillside that overlooked the Nile River. It was already dark out so we chose a spot close to the edge of the hill and sat down for a dinner by candlelight. We ate rice, mashed potatoes, veggies, papaya, avacodo and beef with fruit juice and coffee. It was so peaceful sitting under a sky filled with the half moon and stars so close I felt like I could touch them with the rapids and falls swishing and roaring in the background. It was calmingly quiet and so real. I thought of The Lion King a couple times. =) It was a perfect ending to our day.
I had such a fantastic day and I am so happy I got to visit with my new friends. I never want to take for granted what I have back home and I always want to remember the red dust in my ears, the smell of cows and goats grazing beside the mud houses, the children wearing dirty and tattered, too small or too big clothing while playing with bike tire wheels. I want to remember the big white, perfect smiles. It will be a day I use to keep my attitude in check for the rest of my life.

Kwagala Nyo*

African Jewelry

I have been able to find alot of treasures while being in Africa. I have bought so many cute little gifts and the best part is, nearly everything I have found is hand made. My favorite things I have found so far include a goatskin knife for my best friend/brother, wood earrings and some dresses. But my most favorite thing of all has been the African Paper Necklaces and Bracelets.
They are made in huge batches because it is so time consuming (so I have been told...) but the process involves cutting pieces of newspaper, magazines or any type of paper into long triangle shapes, starting one end around a wire to create the hole for the string and then rolling the paper as tight as possible to make little (or big) beads. Varnish is added as a glue and as a waterproofer. They are not painted or touched at all with color. That is what makes them so unique. The bead is simply whatever color the paper used is. After all of the beads are made, the women sort through the beads and try to find ones that are matching as close as possible. They make necklaces, bracelets and earrings with these beads. And let me tell you... They are beautiful.
I have bought all of these beads from the mamas at ABC because I know where the money is going and it is nice to help them out just that much more.. One night I was talking to *S*, She is Danyne's Night Supervisor and works so hard. She is usually really quiet and self consious (why? I don't know... she is absolutely beautiful to top off her amazing personality) but once you get her talking... She is so funny. Anyways, she was telling me about her mom and how her brother died at work from his co-workers poisoning him so her mom took in her grandchildren and is now raising an extra 2 kids as well as 5 of her own. *S*'s mom makes these beads to help support her newly expanded family and get her grandchildren to school. Well, I got to thinking... These beads are fancy enough to dress up with and casual enough to wear with everything. You can wear them in the bath and when I showed my sister via webcam them she got really excited...
So I am bringing home ALOT of extra necklaces and bracelets and selling them for S. Once I have sold all of them, I will be sending a moneygram directly to S's Moms bank account. All of the money will go to S.
I am going to be honest and tell you all that like everything in Africa, for me to purchase these beads it is fairly inexpensive. I am obviously going to try and make S and her family as much money as possible because I feel like it is so important to help out. So, I am going to come home and sell the necklaces for $15 and the bracelets for $5.
Please either email, call or leave a message on Facebook or here and I will make sure everyone gets what they want. If you have any color requests, let me know and I will see what I can do.
I am so excited to be able to help S and her family. Thank you.



*Kwagala Nyo

Livin' Life

When I was planning this trip... I had made lists and lists of what I should bring and do before I left. I had every single detail planned and it was to the point where I even organized my room so it was just so for when I got home... I was expecting to learn the obvious things like patience and understanding and even just how well I have it at home. What I will actually come home with is so much more than that.

I feel myself growing up more and more everyday. Flat out, I am... no... make that WAS lazy. I would go to work and do what was asked of me and come home and complain because it was a long day. I find myself often coming up with excuses about why I need to come home early or why I am not feeling good... Or why I can have just 1 more cookie. I seem to have validate everything I do to make it alright. I was talking to one of the mamas today and she was telling me how "she may be hungry today but she knows God will provide tomorrow". These women work so hard for every moment in their day. They know what is truly important and they strive to accomplish every little detail... even if it means working 47 hours straight like the mama that did my hair. She works the midnight to 8 shift and then she stayed and worked 10 hours on my hair and went back to work the next night only to finish at 8am the 2nd day and do another girls hair. We tried really hard to convince her to take a break and get some sleep but she refused. She said she needed the money and would do the work needed to recieve it. Wow, don't I feel like a dork working my 7 hour day and complaining... And yes, I did give her extra shillings because when someone works THAT hard they deserve it.

Mom and I are busy planning our adventure... Well, mostly mom is because the internet really comes and goes around here. I come online when I can and she updates me on what she has booked or wants to do and has read about. I am so excited for our trip. I know I have 3 weeks in Jinja still but I know it will be time for me to go home. Like most things in life, leaving will be bitter sweet. I am going to be running to the airport out of excitement to see my mom and get back to Canada but I know once I get home and have settled back into my routines, I am going to be so sad. One of the biggest things that I didn't think about or prepare for was coming home. Like I said earlier, I even cleaned my room for my return but... What about spending 25$ on a single meal knowing that buys groceries for a week for myself here? Or going and getting an Iphone like I had planned? That money could buy an entire years supply of medications for the Positive kids here at Amani. I know I was born a Canadian for a reason and I am so grateful for the opportunity to truly open my eyes to the poverty in the world... It is just going to be a big pill to swallow coming back to Canada and continuing with my life. Maybe I will be able to save money all the time now =)

I had a couple of emails and messages about the HIV kids... So I just wanted to address that really quick.... Before I left and many months before I was ready to come here, I had a heated discussion with someone about being tested for HIV/AIDs upon my return. A couple people were concerned about the risks of transmission and what can be done to prevent it. A total of 8 kids live at Amani that are Positive. I had my first "thought" of it today. One of the girls fell chasing after some bubbles that I was blowing for the kids. She ended up scraping her knee pretty good and there was visible blood. She touched her knee and then came up to me and showed me her fingers with her blood. I immediately remembered she was Positive so I grabbed her wrist and frantically rushed her to the nurse here. I was checking myself for any signs of her blood and noticed how worked up I was over everything. And then the nurse casually put on a pair of gloves and tended to my girl's knee. No big deal. I started questioning the nurse about being so non-chalant about it and she just looked at me... Like... it was a drop of blood and I was losing my mind over it. As I walked away from the clinic watching my girl run back to the bubble action I began to think about my many conversations with some parents here. They are adopting an HIV Positive child because they both survived cancer and wanted to provide another with a chance at living. They told me numerous times how hard it was to contract HIV and simple procedures like wearing gloves or using 2 straws in 1 glass is all that it takes. I did everything right but did 1 thing wrong... I acted like my little girl was diseased with 59 different problems rather than realizing she is a person just like the rest of us. I actually took her into town and shared some cake and soda later on. Long story short: I am not worried about it. It is a common thing around here and it is easily dealt with. I'm not going to run home and make a doctors appointment because I am being realistic and cautious without losing touch of the fact that these kids are human beings as well.

Patience Pains But It Pays!

I cannot believe another week has gone by. I last wrote on Monday and it is already Saturday afternoon.

I didn't end up going to the church at 6:30 in the moring like I had planned but that is only because we had to be up and organized to clean out the stair case and office as an inspection person was coming to check on the welfare of the kids. I don't want people to think we were trying to hide anything but I will hands down admit the stair well and office was a disaster and needed attention badly. We spent an entire afternoon going through bags of clothes, toys, diapers, mattresses, broken down TVs and even an old washer that was torn apart. We found a termite hill, giant dead grasshoppers and rat kaka between it all. It is so funny to think, 4 weeks ago, if you asked me to get my hands dirty and do something other than spend time with the kids - I would of thrown a silent temper tantrum and been in a huff because it wasn't what I wanted to do. Now, I see the need for these things and I understand that things need to be done even when it isn't on MY top priority list. It was also kindof fun sitting in the sun, sorting through many donations and laughing with my friends.

We also finally did the slip and slide for the kids. What a blast! The kids had so much fun in their diapers, laying on their tummies and having Michael and Kaitie fling them down the mat. I was in charge of the water and bubbles until I got bit one of those ginat flying ants... I actually embarrassed myself with the way I acted. Yes, it hurt - ALOT but I don't think it was entirely necessary for me to throw the water hose down and scream "Ow Ow Ow" while holding my arm and prancing around like I was 4.... Really Tarrah.... Hahaha.

Another day was spent braiding my hair. If you have me on facebook, you have seen my hair already. It took a LONG time - 10 hours not including the breaks I had to take to make my Cabeena(butt) unsleepy and it really does hurt! Susan told me "Patience pains but it pays" and I couldn't agree with her more! I wasn't so sure of it at first, but the long hair is finally growing on me and it is fun being able to play around with it. I would say it was a good decision all in all.

On friday I will be travelling about an hour outside of Jinja to go to an African village for a day with Natalie. I am so excited to see a real African Village. I will be sure to take many pictures!

I am also going to spend a day travelling around Jinja to take all the pictures I have missed. I finally found the Lions Club so I am so excited to visit and take pictures of it. I also cannot wait to get back to Lethbridge so I can officially become a Lion!

Back at Amani, The kids are doing really well. I have spent alot of time with a couple of the "special needs" kids.... Massaging, stretching and playing with them. I am enjoying this and seeing the progress they are making because I have taken an hour out of my day to spend some time with them. I really want to take one of the girls that has Cerebral Palsey to the pool so she can stretch out and move freely in the water. I love spending the afternoons outside and listening to the little gems the kids come up with.... When you ask D 'Who his best friend is...' he pats his tummy and says 'Right here!'. Or a couple of the kids always reply with 'But I'm not gonna cry, Aunty' when you tell them they will get a spanking. I laugh every day for new reasons and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Kwagala Nyo*

Bujagali Falls and Central Market

On Saturday I managed to sleep in (finally). I got up around 9 and had a shower and we made some Swedish Pancakes (so good) and got ready to take Bodas out to Bujagali Falls. I have learnt to enjoy the Boda rides into town but I just haven't been brave enough to take the Boda further than a 4 minute ride. Well, we each got on a Boda and braved the 25 minute ride out through the villages and highways to get there. It was fun... I think this Boda Man was the 5th proposal that I have recieved since being here. Something about those Canadian girls really is appealing to African men! Haha. Anyways, It was a goregous walk and when we finally got down to the falls, it is grade 5 rapids with rafters, kayakers and even crazy men holding onto empty water jugs braving the rapids. It was so good to feel the sun on my body with the smell of fresh air and water surrounding me. It was an amazing view and I really enjoyed the 2 hours we spent sitting on rocks and just enjoying the view.

Saturday afternoon we came back home and I had a nap. I am having a very hard time sleeping here. I am so tired by 9:00 every night but I wake up at 1 or 2 AM and am up until 5 or 6 until I fall back asleep to be up again by 7:30. Anyways, after my nap... Mama Maggie Cabeena took Michael, Kaitie, Sarah, Natalie and myself into town to go to Central Market... I have been trying to think of how to describe the market ever since I was there... And the best way to do so... is CRAZY. The market is in a compound that is no bigger than my block at home. On my block at home, where I live, picture about 500 stands set up with everything from Obama Jeans and Womens Sparkley Bras to Cows Intestines and Tongues all with about 3 feet of walking space for the isles... It is all divided up into sections so the first part we walked through was like Home Hardware with nails, paint brushes and hammers all tied up with strings - hanging from the shack's roof. From there, you find the clothes and they have everything from Roxy and Quiksilver to Obama Jeans. I think they get their clothes from Good Wills that are shipped to Africa and then sold for profit... Needless to say, it was crazy. Anything and everything you could ever want is found in the market.

By the time we got home, I was exhausted...both mentally and physically so I grabbed my Little R from Baby A and layed him on my chest and we had a good nap before I went to bed. I am so inlove with this little guy... My heart is seriously going to break when I leave him. I told Mama Lucy I was going to stick him in my carry-on bag when I leave and she laughed at me. Little does she know, I am actually considering it. =)

Sunday, I went to Church and we had a super nice lunch because it was Mother's Day. We even got cake which was pretty much like home. Oh man, I miss good food. Or even just food that I am used too. After lunch, I made a whole bunch of phone calls to my family and friends which only made me slightly homesick.

And here starts another week in Africa... We are getting 4 more volunteers tomorrow and then on Sunday 3 of the old volunteers are leaving... And then, before I know it... I am going to have to start packing for my trip home... What a whirlwind!

Kwagala Nyo*

A Glimpse Into Parenthood

Back home, on Sunday - it is Mother's Day so no matter what... I must remember to call home! It was so scary for me to come to Uganda and think that I would not have internet nearly as often as I have been. Imagine - no facebook, no emails, no skype... I honestly think I would be ok if I wasn't even half as close to my family as I have become over the last couple years. I think most people will say they are close with their mom and dad but for me... It hasn't always been that way... Yeah, we talk all the time and we have generally have always gotten along but I think from my 15-19 age range... I was slightly disconnected from the world and forgot what was acceptable and what wasn't. I mean, I have always talked to my parents and tried to be honest with them but I always wanted to do my own thing and thought my business was my own.. The typical teenage rebellion would be fair to say. Over the years though and in particular... The moment I finally pulled my head out of my butt (around 20 years old)... I have started to see that everything my mom and dad have done for me... was out of love. The constant phone calls were to make sure I was safe. The no drinking until you are 18 was to protect me from consequences (those consequences did suck!). The curfew was to keep me safe. All of the things I hated the most are making sense to me now.

I am writing about this because today when I took my W in town for chocolate cake and soda, I was approached for the 50th time by Ugandan women asking if I was his Mommy. This is always a tough conversation because you don't want to explain that the child in your arms is actually an orphan and you are just donating your time and money for an outting at that exact moment. So, I have started just by replying "Yes, I am." I don't consider this a lie because when I am taking a child out in public, caring for him, worrying over his every move and paying for his sweeties all while disiplining him and teaching him manners and good social behaviours... I consider that a mothers role. Even tonight - I have become very very attached to a 7 month old baby boy named R... He has been sick ever since we got him and the last couple days have been especially worse... Anyways, tonight I picked him up and was cuddling him. I found myself watching his breathing and making sure he was comfortable at all times. I held him for 2 hours just watching him and wondering what he was thinking and feeling. My heart ached for him when he projectile vomited on me twice yesterday - any other child back home would do this to me and I would be so grossed out.

I guess I am getting a very good glimpse of parenthood here. I am starting to understand what it is like to truly love something so much you would do anything for them. While these kids will only be apart of my every day life for 2 months, I know they will be in my heart forever. I know what it is like to want to create rules and boundaries for my kids out of love and protection now. I know why my parents were as crazy as I thought they were (and maybe still kindof are!!) ! =)

Kwagala Nyo*

Bonfires and Water Time!

Thursday already! Everytime I write another entry, I am blown away that MORE time has past...

So lastnight, we had a Bonfire! I wasn't told we were going to do this until about 1:00 yesterday afternoon. And I thought it was all of Baby B, C and Toddlers... Which is roughly 48 children. I was thinking... *Great.... How are we going to pull this off with just the volunteers (currently 6 of us) and maybe 4 or 5 mamas?* To be honest. I was not excited at all. Then a few hours later I was told it was going to be just the toddlers (maybe 26 kids) so I was much happier. When it came time - after the kids ate their dinner, the mamas got them in their diapers and pajamas and sent them out to the front porch where we sprayed everyone down with mosquito spray (THANKS DAD!) and got shoes on. While we were trying to run crowd control with 26 screaming and very excited toddlers, I noticed more and more people showing up... More help! Hurrah!!! In the end, we had about 2 hours worth of fire with about 35 adults and maybe 40 kids under the age of 16 here. It was alot of fun and I ended up snuggling by the fire with my Toddler Boy - W. We roasted marshmallows and had a really good night. It made me slightly home sick because campfires are something that we always do when we go camping and I haven't been camping in so long... I miss it.

I carried on with my preschool and am getting more and more used to teaching these kids colors, shapes and letters. We read simple books and dance to silly songs. I enjoy going down in the morning and seeing the kids - and their attitudes. You can ALWAYS tell if it is going to be a good morning or a bad morning based on the chaos downstairs. If the kids are screaming, running around and nothing has been started... You know its gonna be a tough day! Hehe!

Today, I filled up 3 buckets of water and made water stations. I got some of the other volunteers to help me undress the youngest toddlers into just their diapers so I could have 3 groups of 5 splashing, playing and laughing in the tubs of water filled with cars, buckets and shovels. The tubs were like small bin sizes... The type of tub we use to do dishes in while camping... The square ones. So they aren't big enough kids can drown in but definately big enough to splash in!! My little baby "R" in Baby A is sick so I spent the afternoon snuggling him and helping the mamas with the babies. R ended up throwing up on me twice and I felt so bad for him with his fever and constant pain you know he is in. At one point, I had him on my lap, 2 babies at my feet and another on my chest... The mamas were teasing me... Saying I could handle 4 babies at once no problem! I (lovingly) told them they are crazy!

I am still super happy and enjoying my time here. My sicknesses have seem to subsided although I keep getting headaches and my tummy doesn't always agree with what I eat... But... TIA (This Is Africa)!!!

T.

4th Week In!

Can anyone else hardly believe this is my 4th week in Africa ALREADY? I was laying in bed lastnight thinking about how I have been counting down for 8 months to even get here and now that I am... It all seems so normal. I think I am finally over the general culture shock and am able to realize that TIA (This Is Africa)... I have 4 more weeks here and then it is 2 weeks in London and Paris and then I am back home... I wish I could pack up mom and dad and have them move here so I don't ever have to leave. =)

I know I cut my trip short and I do not regret that at all. I just know it is going to be so hard to have to pack up and leave my kids. I wanted to make the most out of this trip... something I have been saving up to do for months and literally put my life on hold so I could come for as long as possible. I am so happy I did.

I started the early toddlers preschool yesterday and so far... There have only been minor bumps in my planning but it is something I am having fun with. This morning I even took 14 kids for a walk just down the road and back holding a red rope with rings on it. I had to get another volunteer to steer the back while I navigated the front of the line but it went over really well. I think we walked maybe 100 feet total but it took like, 20 minutes. I love those short little legs though!

It is lunch time right now and today is Tuesday so that means we are fasting... at the compound anyways! We always go for lunch to Ozzies on Tuesday and it is so much fun sitting around and talking with the rest of the mzungu volunteers and workers from ABC. However, when I get home... If I have to eat Irish(potatoes), Bananas, French Toast, Pasta or Peanut Butter and Jelly any time soon... I may lose my mind. =) My dinners are usually simple and last night was the first night I actually attempted to light the stove by myself. Nothing blew up and no one was injured so I think I can safely do it all the time now!

I think doing a "volunteer mission" is something everyone should experience in their lifetime. It honestly has pushed me so far out of my comfort zone and made me try so many things I never in a million years thought possible. I am going to enjoy my last weeks here and I cannot wait to start doing the tourist-y stuff... Saturday we are going to Bujagali Falls and a Cotton Weaving Factory (think of Sleeping Beauty...) and then hopefully next weekend we will be visiting a real African Village just outside of Jinja.

I hope everyone back home is well and happy.

I miss you all.

T.

Another Entry

I keep describing the poverty here... Saying children dive through garbage bins for food and people wear tattered, dirty clothes. This is all very true and nothing new to these people. While this is all very shocking to me... It is their way of life. They are happy and most are very religous. I mean, not everyone in Uganda is Christian but many of them only have their faith and beliefs so that is what they seem to cling onto as a means of survival. I often hear many of the Ugandans say "God has a plan for all of us and will never give out more than we can take".

I have walked too and from main street (about 20 mins each way) by myself and have had no problems. Everyone says "Hello! How are you?" and the women are ALWAYS singing songs. Overall, I would say all the people are happy and very outgoing.



I am just so used to having many things and often, when I need or want something... I go buy it. Here, families will save and save to afford a cell phone or they wait until their sandals have no bottoms until they purchase another pair.



Anyways, the past week has been an eventful one. I am creating a program for the younger toddlers to have activities every day. Every half hour, we start something new and I have been googling songs, dances and games for children under 3 like crazy. I am fairly happy with the progress I have made and I actually created a timetable so Monday-Saturday even when I have gone home, everyone will know what needs to be done and taught each day. Simple things like colors, numbers and letter recognition have been tied in with silly songs, happy dances and excerise to keep the kids busy. I am going to introduce my timetable on Monday and we will make adjustments as needed.



On a more frusterating note - I had some money taken from my room. It was put away in a spot that I figured would be safe. I am not sure who it was or if it was even one of the mamas or one of the other volunteers and I am not about to point fingers or even accuse but it was a slight disappointment while I went to grab my binder and realized about 150$ (converted currency to Canadian) was missing. It was British Pounds and Canadian Dollars too. I quietly looked through all of my stuff and seriously debated on what to do before I finally went and told Danyne what had happened. I don't want to cause a ruckus or even create tension between the mamas but I am all about justice and doing what is right... So it had to be made public so whomever did take the money... Knows it is known and unacceptable. I wasn't expecting to get the money back but Danyne immediately told me she would replace what was taken. I am so grateful and I am happy I have my money back.

I cannot believe I have been here for almost 4 weeks now. Time has flown by and I am learning so much about myself everyday. I am excited for my next month here but I am also looking forward to my Europe trip and getting to come home earlier than planned. I know I will come back to Uganda one day... Hopefully to adopt... but for right now, I am enjoying every moment possible.

Until next time...

Kwagala Nyo!

Europe!

So after someone cut a fibre-optic cord in Jinja... I finally have internet again. Yes, I know it has only been about 4 days but it felt like forever...

So much has been going on here but for right now everyone is wanting to know what my secret destination is...

Europe!!

After talking to my mom and deciding what would be best for my time away from home... We decided to make some changes... Instead of being in Jinja until July 7... I will be leaving June 7 to meet mom in London. We will be spending 10 days travelling around Europe doing the whole Scotland, London, Paris etc thing! I think it is a well deserved vacation after spending 2 full months chasing after 60 babies!

That also means I will be home slightly earlier than planned too. June 19 instead of July 7.

That just means I can start working sooner at the new clinic =)

I will update more about Africa when I have time.

Right now, the internet is cutting in and out and I have 5 hungry babies that would like bottles.

Love to all!

Jinja Childrens Hospital

Hello Hello Hello!

So now it is Monday and I had a very eventful day to begin my week. Sunday we went to church and I brought along one of my favorite little girls... "M"... She is about 2 years old and probably the most goregous girl you have ever seen. I dressed her up in a little green polka-dot dress and carried her to Church with my purse filled of diapers, toys, kool-aide and cookies. She ended up falling asleep on me and was only awake in time to enjoy her treats while I held her. Everyone kept asking if she was mine and many people commented on how I am a "good mommy"... It made me feel good to hear the appreciation of other people for looking after a little girl for a couple hours... And lastnight, we had a volunteer appreciation dinner and a quick meeting about some changes taking place around Amani when it comes to the volunteer schedule. I am now in charge of recording all 59 kids weights. Every Monday - I have a list of kids that I am to go find, undress, weigh, redress and record their weights. This is excellent for me to remember their names and spend some 1 on 1 time with each child. Anyways... I was supposed to begin that this morning but when I went to Mama Lois she asked if I could come to the Childrens Hospital for their HIV Clinic for the morning instead. I eagerly agreed and she added "But have a large breakfast as we will be there for a few hours." I thought... Pfft... 2 maybe 3 hours... Taking 5 kids to the doctor... No problems.

So we pull up to the Hospital and it is literally undescribable. Maybe 3 or 4 buildings side by side that you could hardly call sterile and clean. People are lined up outside and are laying on mats in the grass... I would say about 15 families. We go inside and in maybe a 20 foot room, there are about 200 people sitting on a total of 6 benches. Little boys were peeing on the main wall as we walked in and pigeons are flying inside the open room from beam to beam. Men, Women, Children are all waiting to be called into a room no bigger than a small bedroom. Once we finally got inside and sat around for nearly an hour and a half, our group is called into the "office". Here, there are 3 women dressed in green skirts with the little white hats (the nurses) - routinely discussing patient histories, undressing the younger children, weighing them and then sitting them on a stool to have blood drawn - sharps being put in a cardboard box with "Sharps Container" written in Sharpie Marker on the outside... In this little room, including the 5 Adults from Amani and the 5 Children... We counted 22 people. Packed in like sardines, working and buzzing about effortlessly.

I was starting to get really hot and sweaty (more so than usual being in Africa...) so I took my little girl and sat outside on one of the straw mats we had bought to protect ourselves from the ground while waiting. I watched little chilren running around with open IV lines in their hands, one child being carried around with a tube inserted in his skull, babies with safeway-esque bags wrapped around their bottoms as diapers and women openly breastfeeding their children in the Jinja Childrens Hospital waiting room. We ended up being there from 1015 in the morning until 230 in the afternoon. I had to go with one of the other men we were with and buy the children some juice boxes to rehydrate them after such a long day. Mama Lois says this is nothing new and was laughing at my shock and awe. We even walked around and found syringes that had clearly been used for blood collection scattered around the ground outside the hospital. NOTHING like home. This afternoon was spent sitting in our big front yard having tricycle races and snuggle time. I managed to get some sun and enjoy the hot weather. It was a very eventful day and I was so lucky to experience the every day life of an African.

On a side note... Breastfeeding here is so common and not a private thing at all. It is very common for women to feed this way until their kids are 3 years of age. I heard it being called "The African Sippy Cup" today too. Hahahaha....

I will update again in a couple days with more stories and adventures. I miss everyone so much at home and I am enjoying all the "Hey whats up" emails.

Kwagala Nyo

xo*

Cockroaches and Guacamole!

So it is Saturday and we just finished cleaning the babies beds! We had to go through all the cribs and in between the poles, cockroaches decide to make their homes. It hasn't been done for a while so it was quite the eventful morning! We sprayed all the beds down the bug killer and after our lungs were filled with it and we were done dry heaving (ok, once I was done dry heaving...) we noticed how the room was literally crawling with inch long cockroaches. BLAH! They were dropping from the cribs onto us so it made the terrible experience that much more fun with screams and laughter. We are supposed to do this every other weekend and really, with 10 volunteers... it only takes about an hour to an hour and a half. Not that bad and it makes you feel pretty good knowing you are helping the babies sleep better without bugs all through their beds.

Now, we are chilling out in our room waiting for the other girls to get back from the town with our Chipati (spelling?) and we are going to have the rest of our fresh guacamole with homemade chips. Last night, Sarah made us dinner and it was beyond amazing... Quesidillas and Chips and fresh Guacamole! It was Mexican night in Africa! I ate so much and it was nice to have a good meal. After our meal, we are going to the pool for a bit and having a relaxing afternoon in the sun... Yes mom, Sunscreen... Got it! Tomorrow is church and then I have some laundry to do... Hurray!

As you can probably tell... I am having a better time. I was pretty upset and homesick but I am starting to realize that nothing in life is going to be easy or handed down to me on a silver platter. I appreciate all the words of encouragement and thoughts of appreciation. Especially Grandpa... Reading all of his responses and making me stop and think really is needed and I always LOVE hearing from him. I actually look forward to seeing what he has to say so everyone should read his comments... He is a smart cookie and I just love him. (Ps... Grandma and Grandpa... I found you both some pretty cool souvenirs from here. As soon as I saw them... I knew it was for you!! AND how weird is it that its me getting to bring you guys back something cool from one of my trips? =)) I am slso starting to feel better. My face is still swollen and my jaw is sore but I have started some antibiotics so hopefully it is just a sinus infection and I will be fine. I am going on day 5 of my headache though. But, it's managable and I will be fine!

Anyways, I may have a change of plans in my trip but nothing is for sure yet. I am fairly excited at the remote possibility of what may happen but I will keep everyone in the loop and tell you my secret destination if all goes as planned... *Cross your fingers and toes* =)

Have a wonderful weekend and I will post more soon.

Kwagala Nyo!

xo*

PS... I finally got pictures on Facebook... It is a private album so either add me as a friend or send me a message and I will add you to my list of people allowed to view it!

Cranky Day

I wrote this blog and started it on the basis of being completely honest through my trip about my time here... And right now I am feeling so crappy.

I finally had my first crying phone call home tonight. I feel so bad because I called mom at work and compltetely broke down after talking to dad right before. I am homesick, I am heartsick and I am just plain sick. I knew coming into this, it was going to be hard and I was prepared for what I thought "hard" meant. When I am with my kids, playing, dancing and laughing - nothing else matters. But behind the kids... Nothing feels right - right now. I know this will pass and I know I will get better ... but right now... I want to be upset with everything I am feeling.

I am heartsick because seeing the local kids rummage through the dumpster for food on a daily basis upsets me. Seeing my kids bloated tummies as a sign of malnutrition doesn't seem real, the constant reminder of how good home is makes me feel spoiled and ungrateful and hearing some of the heartbreaking stories about the mamas and their family life really can be a shocking reminder of what life is truly like here.

I don't want to sound like a complainer or even come off as ungrateful for my opportunities here but as I lay in bed right now... I have had a stomach ache for nearly a week, my left side of my jaw is swollen and really sore, my head is pounding and I haven't had a... decent bathroom visit... in I don't know how long.

Yes, I am sick and yes, I feel like a truck has hit me (or maybe a car... right dad? =)) I am still so happy I am able to be here.

I don't know if I will honestly be able to last 3 entire months of this but I am going to stick it out and I am going to do my best. I know there is no place like home and I hope each and every person reading this realizes just how lucky you truly are to have proper food in your tummy, a solid roof over your head and clothes you can change every day and get rid of when they have a tear or become slightly worn.

Things will get better and I know tomorrow is a new day so here is hoping...

xo*

A couple of pictures!

So I ended up moving rooms and now this is my permanent spot for the next 2 months and 2 weeks. I have managed to upload some more pictures because we finally have the internet fixed at ABC... I will post more when I can but remember, I can't post pictures of the actual babies faces for confidentiality reasons. =)

Persecution And Making My Own Faith

So it is Sunday afternoon and I just finished another wonderful meal courtesy of Mama Cook. With all these wonderful meals... I am sure to come back home either heavier than what I am or just the same! I think all my "bulking up" before I came was pointless because everything here is pretty much the same. I have become familiar though, in asking if a certain food item is "African Good" or "Home Good"... Unfortunately, it's been alot of Africa Good.

Rewind to Saturday.... I said I was going for a walk and I did. I found myself wondering down Kisinja Road (which is the road we live on) by myself. And yes, Grandpa... To wonder around Jinja alone DURING THE DAY is completely ok. Being a female though, I did find my trek alone slightly awkward as I recieved many hoots and hollars, kisses blown in my direction, winks and "Hey Girl..." comments. The people here are very vocal and that is ok... I don't think they would ever touch me or grab me or whatever without my permission... It is just different having them be so forward! I couldn't get as close to the water as I had hoped because it looked like alot of fisheries were taking place so I kept my distance and ended up coming straight back to the compound after only being gone for about 45 minutes.

Saturday afternoon, I went for lunch with one of the ladies to Ozzies and we went shopping around. We ended up going to the grocery store only to get caught in a major rain storm so by the time we got back to Amani, Tracey and I were soaking wet and all the mamas had a good laugh at us. It was pretty funny though. On the way home, we ended up walking and no one offered us a ride yet on the way into town... we couldn't get the Boda drivers to leave us alone! Too funny!

Saturday night we ended up having the power out nearly the entire night so it was another good time for reflection. I'm learning alot about myself and I am seeing who I want to be.

Sunday morning we went to church with Danyne and Siouxanne and Danyne's girls. I think I found the church I want to attend while I am here. There was lots of music and it was really upbeat and more.... young... I suppose would be the word. It seemed like Pastor Terry was speaking right to me when he was talking about persecution and following Jesus despite social norms. He was talking about when he was younger and he drank and did drugs and partied and was always the life of any gathering. He decided to give all that up to follow Jesus and claims he is much happier with his life despite the constant teasing he first recieved. He was saying that all his "friends" kept asking why he thought he was better than them and if he thought he was going to keep up his new lifestyle. He replied to his friends... "I'm not better than you... I'm just better off now"....

Now, don't get me wrong... I honestly do not think I could ever fully give up my Lethbridge Lifestyle and I know my friends are not the type to shun me for trying to do better... And I know I will never be a Nun or anything... But maybe getting home and finding a church I love and forgetting my binge drinking and constant partying isn't such a bad thing? I don't ever feel like I have done wrong or that I am headed down the wrong path but I do feel like something is missing. And seeing the faith these people have in Jesus and in themselves when they literally have nothing... it brings hope. I have "Faith" written in Kanji on my ankle but really, what faith do I have right now? I will openly and proudly say that I have prayed every single night that I have been here. I have been trying to understand some of the "Jesus Crazy" people's point of views. It is all a learning experience for me and it is nothing that I thought it would be.

Needless to say, Church was an excellent thing today. We came home, had some beans and rice and now I am writing my thoughts and feelings for everyone to see.

A new week starts tomorrow and I am determined to learn more about Africa and its people.

Nwagala Nyo

(I Love You So Much)

xo*

My 2nd Weekend in Africa!

So my second weekend in Africa has started. It is hard to believe I have been here for a week already. Every day seems new and exciting still and I am constantly trying to find a "better way" to do things. We have to use bottled water to brush our teeth and of course the laundry is all done by hand. I am so used to flipping a switch or just pulling a handle and having things done for me but everything around here is genuinely hard work. There is no easy way.

Yesterday, I was not feeling very well. My tummy was sore and nausous and I had a headache that came and went. I think part of the problem is I am alone this weekend so I have had plenty of time to think about home and what I am missing out on. I ended up eatting Friday's meal (fried fish, rice, sweet potatoes and spinach) which was VERY good and spent most of my day in bed. Lastnight I plugged in a movie but the quality of the movies here are terrible so I listened to the voices for noise while eatting Raman Noodles and reading in bed. It was really nice to relax and listen to the birds and crickets for once. I mean, how often does anyone really just sit with their doors wide open to listen to the silence anymore? I enjoy the tranquility of Africa. There is no drama, no problems and no huge issues that people are constantly being faced with. I can honestly say I don't miss going to the bars and partying. There are so many other things I could be doing on a Friday and Saturday night here that not being out and about doesn't faze me. Who knows though... Maybe all my quiet time will send me stir crazy and I will be able to enjoy the luxuries of my life even more?!?

Anyways, This morning (Saturday) I got up and had a wonderful half hour conversation on the volunteer cell phone with my family. I got to talk to John and Carol and Dom and Dani and Nick and Tegan and Mom and Dad. It was super nice as well because it is John and Carol's 25th Wedding Anniversary and we all surprised them with a trip to Vegas that they had no idea about! So even though I wasn't physically there to see the look of shock on their faces, I had mom tell me all about it and I felt like I was there. After our chat, I did my laundry (does it ever end??) and that in itself is a process.... You fill up a big bucket with warm water, add 3 handfuls of your wash soap and mix it around. You stick your tshirts, tanks and pants all in and swish it around with your hands. One by one, you take your clothes out and wring out the soapy water as best you can. Then you take the clothes and put it in another bucket filled with colder plain water and rinse all the soap out. Finally you wring out the clothes as best you can and hang them all on the clothes line on our veranda as best you can. I think I had maybe 6 tops and 4 pairs of pants plus 8 pairs of undies and a couple bras... It took me about 45 minutes to do this. Hopefully by tonight and if not maybe Sunday afternoon all my stuff will be dry so I can fold it and put it back on my clothes rack.

Once I am done with this post, I am going to walk down the road and try to find the River. Lake Victoria/Source of the Nile is about 2 blocks infront of our compound and I want to go get pictures. This afternoon I plan on going into town and shopping for some of my favorite people back home =) Tonight... I'm thinking is another Raman Noodle in bed night. Perhaps I will steal a toddler and have a sleepover with them too. Who knows!?

Have a fantastic weekend everyone and I will be sure to update what I found and saw at the River!

God Bless!

xo*

My First "Ah-Ha!" Moment!

You know how you can always make choices in life? Something as simple as choosing between toast or cereal in the morning or something about what to do in your day. We are constantly making decisions based on how we feel in that moment. While I was hanging laundry I had an "ah-ha!" moment.

Yesterday morning I got up and got ready knowing full well that in the afternoon I would be assigned to Laundry. That means in the afternoon I would be taking all the diapers, liners, clothing, bedding, sheets, blankets and towels off of the clothing lines, folding them and putting them away. But when I got to Mama Lois in the morning asking her where she wanted me and she asked me to be on laundry for the morning as well, I immediatly went into a huff because that would mean 8 hours of laundry for me.

Anyone that knows me knows I don't like doing laundry even the Canadian way... so for me, this was a big deal. Of course, I didn't make a scene and I quietly started hanging all the wet items on the line and was grumbling to myself about what a joke this was and that I didn't come 13000 miles to hang peoples laundry. Yes, I was having a temper tantrum inside. About half an hour into it, I realized I had made myself decently cranky and that it was over laundry. I am so used to taking my clothes into the laundry room, throwing them into the washer and waiting 45 mins... and these women are working their butts off every day to make sure 60 children have clean diapers and clothing. Yes, I realized I was being lazy and greedy and I made the choice to make myself cranky.

It is the least I could do to help make things easier for everyone if it means I spend 1 day a week doing Laundry. Really, it isn't that bad. Sometimes, I forget how easy and good I have it back in Canada and I sometimes get caught up in the "me, me, me" without looking around and realizing some of these women have worn the same tshirt for the last 5 days.

Hanging laundry, listening to my Ipod and thanking God for my wonderful life... Really isn't so bad afterall.

On a more happier note, I had my first African rainstorm! WOW! It was coming down fast and furious so naturally.... We all went outside and went mudsliding and rolling down the grassy hills. SO MUCH FUN!

Some people have been waiting for pictures and trust me, I am trying. The internet here is sooooo slow and for me to upload the pictures, I need time. It doesn't help that we have to go into town for internet right now too. So please, be patient and I will get pictures up as soon as I can.

Today the girls are all leaving for the Safari Adventure and I am waiting until the end of my trip to go so that means I get to stay home with Tracey and have a quiet weekend to myself! Yay! I plan on playing with my kids and going to Church and sleeping in. Great Weekend!

xo*

Another entry....

My first day actually working went really well. I was up by 6:30 and out at Baby B's room by 8:00. Let me tell you, I have never been so tired by 7:00PM before. We really only work from 8 til 1 and then 4 til 730 but between those times, there is so much to do. The laundry is rediculous and with 58 kids running around you can only imagine how many diapers we go through. Ahhh... The diapers.... I have no problems with the Su-Su (pee) ones. I can changed 10 screaming toddlers no problems... The Ka-Ka (poop) diapers on the other hand, well.... The mamas were laughing at me as I stood outside of the room dry heaving over 1 dirty diaper. =) I am not gonna lie, my goal is to avoid the ka-ka as best as possible. As the day goes on, you ar constantly shouting out the kids names and trying to get them to sit and listen or just stop hitting eachother. Best form of birth control ever!!!! Send any teenaged girl to Africa for a week. They will change their minds FOR SURE!!! Don't get me wrong - nothing is better than waking up and going outside to hear 10 little kids screaming "Aunty Aunty"with their arms wide open all wanting hugs from you... but the diapers and constant crying is alot to handle. My patience is being put to the test for sure. =)

I love every moment here though. Today, as we were dressing our little kids, a family dropped off 2 week old newborn twin girls. We got to name them and I was the first to hold one of them while giving her a bottle. THEY ARE SO TINY AND CUTE. It makes my heart melt just thinking about it.

We are at Flavours Cafe right now getting something to eat and checking out emails and then its back to the compound to set up the African version of a Slip and Slide. Holy man, I cannot wait.

and FYI, I haven't been sick yet either. No problems and nothing too exciting other than I am learning more and more about myself every day. I am very fortunate and I am enjoying my time here. It was worth the stress of getting here and I love it.

xo*

Day 3.

My second full day here. Right now, I am sitting with the other people from the compound and eating a chicken and bacon sandwich in one of the cafes. The food hasn't upset my tummy yet but it definately doesn't taste like home. Right now, I could go for one of mom's egg salad sandwiches.

We went to church this morning and on the way there, we saw a snake. Holy cow, I nearly peed my pants! I grabbed onto Kelseys arm and she laughed so hard at me. I am such a baby. Once we got to the church it was everything I thought it would be. So simple yet so beautiful. Everyone was so nice and as we got started.... A GIANT GECKO came crawling across the wall. We all laughed and it was nice to see some of the local wildlife!

Lastnight we went to Danyne's husbands restaurant for pizza. It was delish. I have been meeting so many people and it is great to make connections with people from all over the world.

We are all without internet right now. We have had to go to cafes and it seems like we will be without internet for a while. Much life mexico... Everything is done in "African Time". This is tough for me as you all know I am very set on times and being there when it is supposed to happen.

I think this post is a little all over the place but that is seriously how I am feeling. I really want to talk to some people home but because we are really only on the internet at like, 3AM your time... It has been tough. I can do this though.

Thank you all for following me and giving me the encouraging words. I need to hear this once in a while. Thank you. Thank you.

xo*

So I didn't get much sleep lastnight. Being from a totally different time zone really can get to you. I finally crashed after I talked to dad lastnight via Skype. I still cannot believe he got hit by a car and looked the way he did. So scary!

I thought sleeping under a mosquito net was completely different from what I am used too. Not only that but the fan doesnt really get to you so it makes it extra hot and sweaty. I woke up again at 5:30am and wanted to use the internet but it has been down ever since lastnight. I am actually writing this in a little cafe with 2 of the other girls.

Here is a picture of my bed and my new little set up....

This morning, we went into town and changed some of my money into Ugandan Shillings. I was super excited when I realized that here, technically I am a millionaire. My 780$USD was turned into something like 1,456,000 Ugandan Shillings. The first and last time I can actually say I am rich! Haha

We ended up getting me some groceries as well. I spent 25$USD (roughly) on some pretty simple things. My diet is going to be fairly bland the next couple months but I lucked out and managed to find some ranch so I can mix that with rice. So good. I also got some pasta and yogurt and pringles. Back at the Amani Cottage, we drink water out of a large filtered container. It holds about 15 litres of water and with that, we mix in about a capful of bleach. It runs through the filter and we can then use that for brushing out teeth, drinking and cooking. Mmm.. Bleach! =)

For the ride back to the Cottage, I got to experience the Boda Boda. I won't even explain how it works just for the sake of my parents hearts. Let's just say... It was different.

I am so super happy I have gotten all this time to get adjusted to my new life. I did end up helping out yesterday a little bit but I know the real fun will begin on Monday.

I know I have had time to update this thing lots but in time, I am sure I will be a busy bee with my babies! Oh Lordy... They are SO cute.

Tonight, we are making dinner and hanging out. Tomorrow morning is church and I am pretty excited to see what the African Church is like. If it is anything like Uganda, it will be beautiful and very friendly.

I have also learnt the adoption process for Canadians and it really isn't that hard. =)

I will update soon and I hope everything is well with everyone.

Until Next Time...

xo*

Day 1

So after 2 really long flights and an 8 hour layover in London, I have finally reached my destination. I gotta admit, I was very close to saying nevermind and turning around. I was so homesick in London and I was especially overwhelmed when I handed my boarding pass to the nice lady when I was getting on the London to Entebbe flight. Poor lady - I was crying hysterically and she didn't know what was wrong. I haven't slept a wink since I left. Actually, I lied... I had a 45 minute nap once I got to the cottage today. I couldn't sleep on the flights and it was too overwhelming to even consider it. I am SO glad I didn't.

Getting off the plane in Entebbe, I have never experienced the humidity that is here. I feel sticky all the time and cold showers are a blessing. To be completely honest, if you turn on your TV and go to the World Vision Commercials... That is truly, honestly how it is. All the towns run into eachother and it is all situated in the jungle. The homes are made of whatever they can find and are haphazardly put up everywhere. The cows, goats and kids run around free while the women are carrying sticks and laundry and baskets and water on their heads. The men are making bricks on the edge of the streets and it is all very real how poor this country is.

Getting to the baby cottage was amazing. William was laughing at me the entire car ride here because I was freaking out.... Basically.... Try going down Senic Drive on the wrong side. All of the oncoming traffic are flying towards you as you weave and dodge the vehicles, pedestrians and boda bodas(motorcycles). There are no rules.

The kids here are sooooo cute. JUST like the pictures... Speaking of... We aren't allowed to post pictures of the kids anymore out of respect for their potential familes and their futures. It makes sense... I mean, I wouldn't want my picture posted all over the world from when I was an orphan... Right?

I haven't eaten much since being here. I chose to nap and play with the kids instead. Tomorrow, we are going into town and I get to buy my groceries and switch my money.

We have already had numerous power outtages and I saw a gecko on the wall within 5 mins of me walking into my room.

I will tell you more about the orphanage itself when my brain isn't fried. Right now, I need sleep.

Until Next Time...

xo*

=)

Oh MY GOODNESS!

I am leaving for Africa in 4 SLEEPS! The next time I write, I will be somewhat settled and hopefully getting into the swing of things! My bags are packed and ready to go. I have had a terrible sleep for the past 2 nights as well... I'm sure it's because of the nerves as well as the excitement.

I have so much I could go on about right now and I'm not even there yet. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed but I know it's just the anticipation of getting there. So...

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!

xo*

Growing Up and Being Me

I was just looking through my facebook page and found some posts from 2008. So much has happened, changed and gone on in my life since then. NEVER in my life did I think I would be where I am today. I think of who I used to be and how much Lethbridge and the people around have changed me. I have met so many people and haven't thought twice about them. Other people - ones I thought I would be able to count on through ANYTHING have faded out without even a passing glance while others have completely taken me by surprise by hanging around and waiting for me to come to them. I am a very lucky girl and I know that. I have the best support system anyone could ask for and because of this, I am blessed.

It seems everyone around me is getting married and having kids. This is the new norm of our generation. For me, I am learning to let go of a 4 year relationship that has clearly been dragging on way too long. I am figuring out how to stand on my own 2 feet and be happy without the visions of white dresses and the "glow". I honestly don't even know what I am doing tomorrow let alone being able to settle down and grow up SO fast.

All I know forsure, is behind the fear of the unknown, I know living in Uganda for 3 months will change me yet again. This trip could not of come at a better time for me simply because it gives me the opportunity to grow up in my own way and on my own time and learn more about myself. I want to see the world and show those that love me and care for me what I really can do.

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to play Jesus or even be better than the next guy on the street... I just don't ever want to stop growing and learning.

xo*

A BIG THANK YOU!

With my travel date creeping up closer and closer, I am starting to organize my bags and get all of the "last minute" things completed. Yes, I realize I am not leaving for 4 more weeks but... I am gone for 3 months and it's just one of those trips that you don't want to miss anything. Now if my sandals would just come in the mail already... =P

On Tuesday evening, my parents and I went to the Casino to attend the Lethbridge West Lions Club meeting. Ok, rewind about 3 weeks ago... I was at work and a lady came in with her doggie and while she was paying she noticed my poster about Africa. We got to talking and she ended up inviting me to the Lions Club meeting in hopes of helping me fund my trip... Anyways, I ended up talking just for a couple minutes about my adventure and the Lions Club ended up donating $500 to my costs. Wow!

Through all of this, I cannot believe the kindness of some people in Lethbridge. I have 2 FULL army bags of clothes, toothbrushes, formula, shoes, books and odds and ends for the orphanage and now, I have some money that will absolutely help me in my travels. I am going to be joining the Lions Club as well because I love what they do with the community and the world. Their purpose is "to serve" and in just 1 meeting, I have seen how much they can do for anyone that needs it. These people have the most kind hearts and I am so blessed to have met Pauline. She is an amazing lady and I am so happy I have a new friend. Check out the lions club website for more information on what they can do for our community, country and world:

www.lionsclubs.org

Thank you to anyone that has donated anything to my trip and a special thank you to Pauline and the Lethbridge West Lions Club. I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

...The countdown is on...

xo*

Feelings

In 1 month and 16 days I will be driving with my family to Calgary to board the first of my planes to Africa. I am excited, nervous, happy, sad and unsure all at once right now. I know that once I get settled and in a routine, the 3 months will FLY by and I won't want to come home - especially when I realize I will have to leave all my babies behind. I guess it is just more of the fear of the unknown right now. The longest I have ever been away from my parents is like, 3 weeks... and even then, we talked at least every other day. Will I be able to keep contact with everyone? Will I be so completely out of the loop when I come home? I guess all I can do is jump in with both feet and see what happens. Dad already has my flights/landing times booked into his phone so he will know exactly when I get off the plane in London and when I board in Entebbe. It's a big step for all of us and above all,

I am SO excited to see where my adventures take me.

xo*